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[28 Jun 2004|04:56am] |
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God Save the Queen - Sex Pistols |
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I'm in Paris. I'm going to get pissed, smoke like a chimney, and fuck French boys until they can't see straight. Then I'll kick them out.
I never said I was perfect, but I think we all know my record for fidelity has not been good, so we'll leave it at that. And no I don't want to talk about it.
I won't be answering my mobile, so please don't bother. I need this time. I need this small slice of irresponsibility and anarchy. It's who I truly am, after all. Many have tried to crush and mold me into their own form of formality and structure, but in the end I always break away. Blemished, but with just a bit of animalistic tendencies untarnished.
I am not bent on self destruction, so please do not worry. My only intent is redemption.
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| I Surrender! |
[15 Jun 2004|02:19am] |
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Exit - U2 |
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These flower people are driving me bloody insane! I said lillies! NOT tulips! LILLIES! How the fuck can someone confuse such completely different words?
Sorry I've been absent of late, my dears. I've been buried in doilies (which we will NOT be having. Don't you love how they still try to sell you things even after you vehemently say no?) and I've also been force-feeding my beloved a plethora of sugary sweet wedding cakes. The man still looks sexy even with a huge glob of icing on the side of his mouth. I had to lick it off. After all I'm only human! Let's see..what else? Oh yes, I fired the ruddy wedding planner because apparently I was speaking Greek to the chap. Everything I said I wanted he would turn around and do the opposite. His name was Marcel..and yes he was French, but it seemed when I hired him that he could understand English. I was WRONG! Emma and Tori have gone beyond the call of duty. They have both helped me so much, I don't know what I would do without them. Thank you both, darlings! And of course, my darling fiancee has this wonderful way of putting things in perspective for me.
Me: I am NEVER going to find a dress! AHHHHH!
He: I would still marry you if you walked down the aisle in a fookin potato sack.
And do you know...the next day I found the dress? It's like he broke the curse! This is it. And Paul, you'll be relieved to see that it does, indeed, have a corset. ;)
Mum has gotten so much better about this whole thing. We had a nice long chat last week and she said the only thing that mattered to her was that Tim and I were happy because it was our day. After I picked my jaw up from the floor, I think I muttered a stunned "thank you."
Today I noticed that I was in "US" magazine's Fashion Police. They never have liked my combat boots. ;)
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[24 May 2004|04:14pm] |
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Placebo - Peeping Tom |
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Just a short note today to let you all know that the new Harry Potter is EVEN better than the previous two! Who knew that was possible?
And I feel quite awful because I'm crushing on Draco Malfoy! GADS, that child is a handsome devil. No wonder the teen girls scream for him so. ;)
I always did like the bad boys...right Tim? =D
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| BLIMEY! |
[19 May 2004|03:08am] |
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Placebo - Narcoleptic |
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Have decided I hate weddings. That's right. Bloody hate everything to do with them, including my family who seems to be under the impression that this is somehow their day rather than mine and Tim's. In all fairness I shouldn't say "family", rather just MY MUM! The woman has completely gone nutters with outlandish ideas. I prefer a simple, yet charming ceremony. Yesterday, we got into a huge row over the kind of flowers I want to have. I thought for a moment one of my brothers was going to have to hold me back. Instead I just threw my hands up in disgust and went for a long walk. Where the bloody hell is Jennifer Lopez when you need her? Getting engaged again? CRIKEY!
A happy belated birthday to The Rez. I sent you a present via Tori so I'm sure you received it in a hasty fashion. ;)
And now, in a calmer mode, thank you to everyone who helped make Tim's birthday a wonderful and memorable occasion. I had a glorious time, and it was lovely catching up with mates, some I hadn't seen in a very long time. When Alan walked in with the children, I nearly cried. It was the perfect present, darling!
I think I need a nice long ride on that motorbike when Tim gets a free moment. I can close my eyes, wrap my arms tight about him, and feel the wind in my hair.
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| And Many More |
[14 May 2004|01:41am] |
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I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual - Sloppy Seconds |
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I can't find a single wedding dress that I am even remotely interested in. Meanwhile, Tim has not only selected his own tux, but tuxes for all the boys as well. I've scheduled a meeting next week with the Vera Wang people so perhaps we shall come up with something.
And now, I come to the real reason for my post. That is to wish a most joyous and wonderful Happy Birthday to you, my darling. On your last birthday, we were quite on different paths. I'm so glad we both found our way to each other through the maze. Oh, and I do believe if you wander out front you might trip over this. I expect a ride on it this evening to dinner. ;)
I love you.
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| Puttering |
[05 May 2004|05:12am] |
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Filthy Mind - Amanda Ghost |
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This house is empty and it's SO bloody quiet I could scream just to fill the void. Tim and Jack will return on Saturday and I truly cannot wait. All those years I was single and living on my own, I truly enjoyed time to myself and I never got lonely. Things are different now, I literally feel like part of myself is missing when he is away. Funny how one person can change so many things about your life. Little things that you really never think about.
Today I went to Trafalgar Square and fed the pigeons. I stopped and had some tea and read for awhile. I disguised myself rather well with the assistance of a hat and dark glasses, but a papparazzi still managed to recognize me and snapped countless pictures through the window of the restaurant, so I moved. HAR! I called Jack to see how he was getting along and he told me all about the concert. I was sad I missed it, but I had so many appointments spread out over a three day period it made it impossible to leave London. The mail today was loaded with scripts forwarded from my agent. There are several that look interesting but I have only had time to read through one completely. I must confess I've been enjoying my break since the play ended. It shall take a masterpiece indeed to coax me out of my cocoon.
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[25 Apr 2004|10:52pm] |
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Beat on the Brat - Ramones |
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I am terrible dealing with moods. Other people's I mean. I know that we performers have a flair for the dramatic not just in our work, but in our personal lives as well. It still sickens me though. If you want me to work with you, the number one way to convince me not to is to become a raving drama princess and then proceed to tell me everything that has gone wrong in your life thus far. I DON'T BLOODY CARE! I care that children are starving in Africa, I care that some women are beaten by their own husbands, I care that millions of people are dying from diseases. I don't care if someone I know had sex with your girlfriend and now you need to get back at them. We all have our problems, but in comparison with the ones I just mentioned they are tiny fragments of nothing. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, GET OFF THE PRESCRIPTION DRUGS, and number one...
DON'T TRY TO USE ME IN YOUR SILLY POWERPLAY!!!!!!!
And just in case that wasn't clear..
FUCK OFF!
And no, I'm not talking about you. =P
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| Engaged? |
[19 Apr 2004|02:04pm] |
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Touched - Vast |
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...Me? Yes, as it turns out. I am overjoyed! As well as shocked, but I'll get over it. That was the best possible ending to our weekend away! Now we have returned and have decided to inform the children tonight. I hope it is not unhappy news for them. I don't think it will be. We have not talked of dates, and truth be told, I should like to enjoy being engaged for a bit before we do. I haven't yet adjusted to this new status, but rest assured you will all be the first to know when we do choose one.
Now, about these legs....I HAVE reached a decision. After much deliberation, I shall have to choose Paul's legs. Sorry, dear Guy! I still adore your gams, but Paul's just had a certain je ne sais quoi. Forgive me?
Edit: How silly of me! I forgot to thank
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) franhealy for this lovely icon of myself and Tim. As you can see dear, I love it! ;)
And now, as for you:
( This will, no doubt, give everyone the wrong idea but... )
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| Bang bang, you shot me down.. |
[16 Apr 2004|03:10am] |
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Honey - Tori Amos |
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I was simply relaxing in the bath, and I must have dozed off because I awoke to see someone grinning like the cat who ate the canary, his chin resting on his hand, and the other under the bubbles stroking my nether-regions. I was quite delighted, not only to see him there, but at the pleasurable sensations he was causing. I leaned up to kiss his lovely mouth, and pulled him in the water, clothes and all! He was a tad stunned and now had suds on the top of his head. I could only cover my mouth with my hands and laugh at his consternation. He growled something about punishing me for that and..well...then he did. I've never enjoyed discipline so much in my life. We are going away this weekend, and needless to say, I have all sorts of delicious and naughty things planned. Though he seems to have something up his sleeve as well. How exciting!
Today I caught up on returning phone messages while I watched the children play at the park. Cary, I am so glad you FINALLY told your lovely lady how you feel about her. I told you you had nothing to worry about and, as usual, I was right! HAR I also had a nice long chat with Reds who is plane hopping her way to very high DVD sales. It was good to hear you were in high spirits, love, and you must come for a visit soon. I am having dreadful Tori withdrawal symptoms, which is why I am listening to your music right now. ;) My agent also called to informed me I have some more voice over work to do next week for "Wallace and Gromit", but thankfully I can do it here rather than having to fly to L.A.
And as for this BEST GAMS contest...I have found a picture of Guy's legs which I shall zoom in on in Photoshop. Paul, I can't find a picture of yours. What is this world coming to when a girl can't find a decent picture of Paul's legs ANYWHERE on the internet? I'll have you know I'm taking my duty as a judge very seriously. And I will say this. I saw Guy's legs on the set of "Til Human Voices Wake Us"...and those are some pretty stems. TOUGH COMPETITION! LOL
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| Lily of the valley |
[12 Apr 2004|02:34pm] |
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Today Tina and I made Jack some brownies with the help of Hunter and Cormac who have come to visit Jack and generally spread cheer. I sent Tim off for a nap and he flashed me a smile full of mischief. "Only if you join me." Which, of course, I agreed to, but first I had to finish Jack's treat. We presented them to him on a silver serving tray. "You are Jack's voracious appetite." I said, stealing an idea from "Fight Club". He laughed at the joke and smiled as Tina sat on the bed and fed him while his siblings jumped up and down asking for "their brownies". The little tykes had already eaten enough brownie mix and frosting while we were making them to stuff a horse. I left them, and went to clean up the mess we had made in the kitchen. I opened the dishwasher and found a lily, my favorite flower. I pulled it out of the dishwasher a bit perplexed. I found another in the cupboard. I should have known he wouldn't be taking a nap, the sneak.
I started looking for more. I found one in my favorite chair in the TV room, one in the jacuzzi bath which was sticking out of the drain, and another in front of the bedroom door. I opened it and found him "pretending" to be asleep. I attacked stealthily, slipping behind him on the bed. I leaned over to see his face, eyes closed, but a knowing smile playing on his lips. And on my pillow...another flower. I tickled his ribs mercilessly until he surrendered.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked, snatching the flower from my pillow and straddling him, running the petals along his cheek and neck. I added it to the bouquet of others I had found and held them to my nose breathing in their sweet essence.
"That's all you've found?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, his hand encircling my neck and caressing it. I closed my eyes.
"There are more? I'll look for them later. Right now I have something else on my mind."
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| Relief and endings. |
[03 Apr 2004|04:01pm] |
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When he finally opened his eyes and was able to speak to us, I cried tears of joy. He is going to be alright, but it will probably be at least a week before he is released. He's already hating being here, and I don't blame him, poor duckie.
I cannot express in words my appreciation for you and you. Tim and I are truly fortunate to have mates like the two of you, and we never could have made it through this with our sanity without you. Much love to you both. I would have said this in person, but I couldn't have gotten through it without crying.
Thanks and appreciation also go out to all of you have sent messages, called, and stopped by the hospital. You have been a great comfort to Tim, myself, and Jack. He was amazed when he awoke to see all of the flowers, gifts, cards, and balloons.
Tonight is my last performance. I am ready to have it over. I just hope I can make it through the 3 1/2 hours without calling Tim 20 times. Poor darling. He needs sleep and food desperately, and I intend to see it to it that he gets at least a little of both tonight.
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| Scared...worried...and other awful words |
[01 Apr 2004|01:46pm] |
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I had to just sit down and breathe for a moment. If you have read Tim's latest entry you will know why. I am trying to remain calm and get together a few things to take to the hospital, but I keep sobbing uncontrollably. This will be no help to anyone, so I really need to pull myself together.
To make matters worse, I called Ken and told him I wouldn't be able to make the performance night, and he actually had the nerve to be angry with me! There is a CHILD IN THE HOSPITAL you madman! A young man I have come to care very much for. He realized he was being unreasonable and apologized. It's a good thing, because I was ready to go over there and tear his bloody throat out. I really am quite tired of people who only think of themselves with no concern for anyone else.
I must go now. Fuck. Where did I put the keys?
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| what's in a name? |
[26 Mar 2004|07:17am] |
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Tim's breathing while he sleeps |
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I just couldn't resist taking this little test.
My very British name is Chelsea Pelham.
Take The Very British Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Fuck me! Isn't my real name British enough? Of course, if I was this Chelsea person I wouldn't have THREE names. I wonder if I would feel lighter? Signing things would certainly be easier. I've had entirely too much coffee. I should do something productive and burn off all of this energy. I know what I would like to do, but he's still asleep and needs his rest. The poor darling. I do hope these medications do the trick.
Jack is up, so I'm going to make him breakfast and I think I'll have some myself.
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| Light Entry |
[23 Mar 2004|02:40pm] |
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Pride - U2 |
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My extra icons have expired. And why does this bloody thing have the uncanny and annoying ability to pick your least favorite ones as the "leftovers"?
Well, it has taken a bit of time and several migraine headaches, but I have relocated to Mr. Roth's flat and I couldn't be happier! Being able to wake up in his arms, and retreat to them each night (or morning, as my schedule is quite crazy at the moment) is wonderful and so comforting. He makes me feel safe. And alive. Neither of which are things I intend to take for granted. Bella, my kitty, has finally gotten used to her new surroundings. I know Cary was LOATHE to part with her, but she seemed quite ecstatic to be permanently away from him. Jack and I have been having secret conversations regarding an upcoming event. Tim has noticed, raising his eyebrow when we cease talking in his presence. I suppose I shall have to let the cat out of the bag at some point, but not yet. We are quite enjoying our covert operation at present.
The house is indeed very quiet since Hunter and Cormac have gone. Too quiet. I miss the sound of their laughter and Hunter calling me "Lena!". I cannot wait until they visit again!
The other night we all swooped in on Rosencrantz like a very merry, VERY LOUD calvary. The poor dear looked as if he wanted nothing more than for all of us to sod off, but being the good friends we are, we could never do that! Not on his birthday! Dear me! Everyone must be sufficiently annoyed on their birthday, and I think we accomplished the job quite completely.
I caught up with Reds on the phone yesterday. She is getting ready to promote the release of her new DVD. I do miss her quite terribly. It seems so long ago that we were mucking about London together. I'm hoping that after my run ends next week, we can catch up.
To my great rejoicing, Emma has returned. I was about to send a search party. Don't get me wrong, I love all of these lovely chaps I am fortunate enough to be friends with, but sometimes a woman longs for the companionship of a fellow female. Besides, she and I can sit around and make catty remarks about Ken. It's our favorite thing to do. Besides the karioke parties of course, which now must resume in FULL FORCE. I do hope to see you this afternoon for tea Emma. Cary is bringing the biscuits. ;)
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| Now is the hour |
[17 Mar 2004|05:39pm] |
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Elvis Costello - I Want You |
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How often are we happy in our lifetimes? I mean truly happy. Not a care in the world? It occurs often when we are children, I suppose. But only if we are fortunate enough to have a family that loves us. For there are so many who do not even have that, and lose their innocence too young. No time to savor the "hour of splendor in the grass and glory in the flower." So I truly count myself among those who are fortunate. I am fortunate to have a career that pays me more than enough for doing something I love, family and friends who love me, and this man who spoils me. Who pleasures me. Who loves me even with all of my flaws.
Yesterday, we went to Mum and Dad's for tea. I know it's never fun to meet the parents, but Tim was absolutely charming. My parents are quite easygoing really. Well, Dad more than Mum, but I was delighted that she was on her best behavior. Before we left, she pulled me aside and whispered "I quite see what you see in him, Helena. He's at least two notches above the rest."
Yes, thank you, Mum. ;) This was good to hear actually, for she has never approved of any of my past significant others. Ken and she disagreed on everything under the sun while I would sit there wishing I could disappear into my teacup. She didn't see AT ALL why I was with Tim Burton, and I won't even repeat what she said when I was seeing Steve Martin. So this is high praise indeed, for Mr. Roth. And though their approval is certainly not necessary, it is always pleasant to have.
Tim's children are little joys. Jack is older, and he and I have conversed mostly on music. He has never heard The Misfits or The Damned, so I have given him several of my punk cd's. I am very curious and excited to hear what he thinks. Tim worked so hard on his room. It is so transformed I was awe-struck. I enjoyed assisting with the painting, although I confess I couldn't resist starting a paint fight with Tim. We ended up in the bath together to get cleaned up, which was my ulterior motive all along. He has the most beautiful back. I became quite transfixed while washing it.
I have decided to accept his offer to come live with him. It wasn't a hard decision, but it is quite a big step for me. It is the beginning of a new phase. A wonderful phase. Sometimes, I still have to pinch myself.
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| Share my innermost thoughts..know my intimate details |
[08 Mar 2004|03:10pm] |
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Somebody - Depeche Mode |
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Well, as most of you know these two are now married, and the occasion was one filled with love, light, and extraordinary entertainment. All of the performances were wonderful, and I think I shall have to hold Deb to her promise of a full length performance of her music at some point. Bono and Edge were bloody magnificent, and of course, Reds always brings a tear to my eye, let alone when she sings Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You".
I had another reason to be quite ecstatically happy. And this reason looked absolutely drop dead gorgeous and sexy in his tux. The desire to rip it off him all night was rather overpowering, but I somehow managed to suppress it until it was appropriate. He certainly didn't make it easy, however, with his suggestive looks, and whispered comments. As well as openly looking down my dress and then winking. GRRR. You near drove me insane with lust! =P
We flew to NY over the weekend to see Colin on Saturday Night Live. I also got to see Felonius! I loved chatting with you, mate! Colin was wonderfully funny. His monologue was one of the best I've seen in a long time. So, kudos to you, my darling! We also had a chance to talk with Alan. I admit that once I saw him, I felt much better. Being so far away when there is a friend in need can make one feel quite helpless. I could tell that he and Tim needed to speak alone, so I left them to their discussion. I do not know what was said, I only know that it seemed to left a bit of weight from Alan, for which I am thankful.
We'll be returning to London soon, and I must say I am most excited to get back to my flat. I am very afraid of the state it may be in having been left in the hands of a madman, but I'm sure the damages won't be beyond repair. I rang Ken the other night to see how the play is going. He said my understudy has been fine, but I am requested back there as soon as I can return. My run is over at the end of this month, and I must say I am quite ready to move on to something else. I love Shakespeare, but three months of "The Play Which Must not Be Named" is quite enough. It's just so dark and depressing, and it is one hundred times more difficult to get to "that place" when one is as gloriously happy as I am.
In that same vein, I cannot sum up how much I adore this song AND this band. I could quite listen to them twenty four hours a day. And HAVE in my younger years. ;)
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[02 Mar 2004|03:55pm] |
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Tim and his children laughing |
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Falling asleep in someone's arms is not so easy. Perhaps it was human insecurity rearing it's ugly head, but each time I felt myself finally surrenduring and almost allowing sleep to carry me off, I would awake and lift my head. My fingers tracing the line of his jaw, his nose, softly ruffling his hair. He slept peacefully through all of it, though I did get a soft smile when I placed a gentle kiss on his chin.
My days in California have been quite lonely until now. The other day I decided to go to the beach. I armed myself with my wide-brim hat, a large umbrella I found in Cary's garage, and a bottle of SPF 5000. I lugged all of my equipment down to the sandy bank and set up camp. I daresay I felt quite overdressed. Everyone on the beach here in Malibu has a very evident aversion to covering themselves at all. As I burn horribly when exposed to just a few minutes of sun, I had to dress rather conservatively. I looked a bit like an Eskimo who had wandered onto the beach. I exaggerate, but you get the idea. I dropped in at Leo's party this weekend. It was a no pants party, so I wore some of Cary's boxer shorts. =) I did not ride the mechanical bull, though it was amusing watching other people get repeatedly thrown off. It was a lot of fun, though I was missing a certain someone and wishing he were there with me. Would you have rode the bull?
Cary's latest post informs me that he has been once again torturing my poor cat while I am away from London. I already have a plan for my revenge as I am currently staying at his house. There is a car in his garage that is a '57 something or other that has been fully restored. I know he RARELY drives it. I was just contemplating taking it for a spin last night when Tim called and informed me he was coming to fetch me.
I was delighted to see Gary, Guy, and Ed back at Tim's, all at various stages of getting pissed. The children were asleep, although I must admit I don't see how with all the noise! =) They must indeed be able to sleep through a war. Today I got to talk with them. They are delightful! And so far, I think I have made a good impression. I was quite amused that they continuously referred to Gary as "Sirius", and asked repeatedly when they were going to see Snape again. I must admit I am quite wondering that myself. We all miss you, Alan.
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[25 Feb 2004|02:52pm] |
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Still here in New Orleans. My flight to California leaves this evening. Last night was AMAZING! Trent really knows how to throw one hell of a party! I took Hugh's suggestion and went as the Countess Bathory. She's famous for killing virgins and bathing in their blood, and I must admit I didn't see a virgin all night. I think Miss Bathory would have quite a bit more trouble practicing her hobby in this day and age. My date for the evening made a wonderfully romantic and handsome Phantom of the Opera. There were quite a few classical waltzes, which both surprised and delighted me. Tim, you are a marvelous dancer. ;) Later, we were also treated to performances by NIN and Reds, who was positively glowing, and I don't think it had anything to do with the fairy dust. ;) My favorite point of the evening was when she and Trent sang "Past the Mission". This stepped up the mood quite a lot, so the PARTY really began after 2AM when the REAL music started. ;) Don't get me wrong, I do love classical music, but as a child of the punk age, I much prefer music so loud it could make your ears bleed. And we weren't disappointed on that account.
Cary revelled in his Henry VIII costume by shouting "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" each time he passed by me...and everyone else. He and the lovely Rachel seemed to be enjoying themselves immensley. Finally, we were wonderfully delighted to see Gary arrive. In fact, this was shaping up to be a Brit Actors Reunion party. =)
Something else, quite surprising happened. A very good surprise. Something only you
know about. And I think I would quite prefer to keep it that way for the time being. And before the comments start pouring in, NO WE DID NOT SLEEP TOGETHER! =P
Speaking of which, I feel I must make a sidenote to Alan. Darling, whatever happened between us, I sincerely miss our friendship, and I wish we could chat again like we used to. Please ring if you have a moment.
As Christian and Samantha's wedding is coming up so soon, I have decided to remain in the States until then. Cary has been nice enough to offer me his home in Malibu. That is where I shall be if you need to reach me. I must sign off for now.
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| I don't like labels...=P |
[15 Feb 2004|08:12pm] |
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Nine Inch Nails - Ringfinger |
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I must take a moment to pimp two of our latest arrivals. Tim Burton is a cinematic genius and also, one of my dearest and closest mates. So everyone add him! Go GO! You won't regret it. I only wish you could hear him demonstrate his "monkey sounds" as he did so often on the set of "Planet of the Apes".
Also, the lovely Tim Roth has joined us. He likes playing bastards, but I assure you he is not one in real life. ;)
Mr. Reznor is having a masquerade ball on Fat Tuesday which is Feb. 24th. I am quite excited about this, but I'm afraid I've been thrown into costume panic. I was thinking of Marie Antoinette because I recently watched "The Affair of the Necklace" again. But I feel she may a bit too "overdone". =/ Suggestions?
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| The Face of Heaven |
[12 Feb 2004|12:59pm] |
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Howie Day - Australia |
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There is something very traditional about cooking for a man. Especially when cooking Italian. Every drop of passion you feel instills itself with every added ingredient. He arrived earlier than expected. My hair was in a very unattractive knot and I had somehow gotten some sauce on my nose. He promptly licked it off and gave me a kiss to die for. Our conversations are long and very personal. Perhaps I share more with him because he makes me feel safe. A strange, yet comforting feeling for a woman who has been independant for most of her adult life. I know he'll be leaving soon, but I try not to think of it. I am, perhaps, more surprised than anyone at how much I shall miss his him. We don't talk about it. Every moment seems precious and is infused with the intensity of being the last.
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| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
